True Story

Monday, May 3, 2010

Vet: "Hello, Pleasant Valley Animal Clinic."
Me: "Hi. I just wanted to call y'all to make sure that my dog is okay. He, umm...well, he just ate a cigar. "
Vet: "Excuse me?"
Me: "A cigar. He ate it."
Vet: "Ooookay. What size cigar was it?"
Me: "I don't know how to answer that...maybe a regular one?"
Vet: "A huh. And...did he eat all of it?"
Me: "Well, I caught him in the act, so he didn't quite get to finish off the plastic wrapper."
Vet: "So, he ate plastic too?!"
Me: "Well....some, yes."
Vet: "I'm gonna need to ask the doctor about this one. I've never known a dog to eat a cigar."
Me: "That would be great. Thank you."
Vet: "Okay. First, let's just pull up his records. What's his name?"
Vet: "M'am. Are you there?"
Me: "Yes. I'm sorry. I'm here."
Vet: "And what did you say his name is?"
Me: "I didn't. Yet. His name is....(insert eye roll here).....Smokey."
Vet: "Smokey?!"
Me: "Yes, M'am. I know..."
Vet (insert suddenly extremely alarmed inflection): "The cigar wasn't lit was it?!?!?"

* No animals were harmed in the making of this phone call. Seemingly, Smokey actually enjoyed his afternoon treat (which, of course, was NOT lit). He tried to wash it down with a kitchen sponge several hours later.


delee said...

Great name! He is cute!

Bev said...

Wow did that name come back to bite you in the rear or what? At least it's an organic material, except for the plastic of course, which will either stay with him for the next ten years or be an interesting lump in the yard in the next day or so. Let's hope it's in the yard and not the house.

Sarah said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you!! for that story this morning! Caiden and I just laughed our heads off, and we are very much enjoying your drama--and very thankful there are no cigars around here for Shadow to eat!

Love you, and I'm calling you in a while!!

Angie in AZ said...

Too funny! And what is weird is that i have a friend with a dog like this and when I saw the picture of your dog, I thought, "Oh my gosh, it looks like Muffin!" The dogs are the same breed but different colors! Must be somethin' in them that causes them to eat strange non-food items!

Becky said...

Hahaha, oh that is hilarious. And you wrote it just right with a conversation. Made my day!

(here at Sarah's suggestion :)

Barb said...

Oh my word, Les, I'm rolling on the floor here...funniest thing I've read in ages.

Just what you need - a pet with a nicotine problem. LOL

PS - very smart to call the vet, though - nicotine is seriously poisonous to dogs. (and people)

Becky said...

Oh how funny!!! Great coincidence!

Andrea said...

While the irony between your kiddo's name and what he ate is kinda amusing, please please PLEASE tell me they advised you to induce vomiting? Any foreign object is harmful when consumed and nicotine is extra bad, since it's toxic. Also think the person who asked if it was lit needs a good "are you serious?". Silly question, no joke. :p

travisandreba said...

Oh my word...too funny!

Kristi said...

We were laughing so hard, I had tears :). That story was priceless. You & Sarah and your families (especially the animals) need a sitcom!!!

Courtney (Women Living Well) said...

lol!!! Awwww poor smokey :-(


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