Made You Laugh: Mom Quiz

You Know You're a Mom if You've Ever...

MomSense Magazine 8/10

1. Have you ever spit on a Kleenex to wipe another person's face?

2. Have you ever excused yourself to "go potty"?

3. Have you ever danced and/or sung in celebration of someone else's potty success?

4. Have you ever carried on a conversation with an imaginary playmate?

5. Do you pack for a trip to the grocery store like you're preparing to climb Mount Everest?

6. Do you possess extensive knowledge of another person's bodily functions?

7. Have you ever performed an extraction of a piece of cereal from an ear/nostril?

8. Have you ever developed a weight loss plan that included avoiding eating food from your kids' plates?

9. Have you ever looked at your legs halfway through the day and realized you've only shaved one of them?

10. Have you ever gone to bed with one person, and woken up with three?

11. Do you remember the last time you went to the bathroom without an audience?

So...what was your score?

Made you Laugh: This Little Light

MomSense Magazine:
Nov/Dec 2009

"Sing me a song, Mom."
"Which one?"
"Hide-it-under-a-bushel-NO!"
And so it went, my 3,457th rendition of "This Little Light of Mine." Something made me stop mid-chorus and ask, "Do you understand what this song is about?"
"Yeah, Mommy. It's about people wasting electricity."...let it shine, let it shine, let it shine....Of course. So obvious.
Later, I was recounting the funny exchange to my eldest son, (the one who always leaves lights on) explaining to him how we can love his younger brother better by understanding that he is a very literal child; that he sees everything in black and white.
"Ok, Mom," he said. "But you never told me that he was colorblind!"

Have a funny story to share? 

Please send it to emailfunmom@yahoo.com.

Mid-Week Laugh: Dirty Mouth Vacation

So excited to introduce our newest contributor:

Click image above to learn more about Bev. 

"Dirty Mouth Vacation"

Our oldest daughter and her family had just returned from a week's vacation out of state. It involved miles and miles of traveling in the car, and time spent in a hotel. We were at the dining room table with our three grandkids, getting the play-by-play of the vacation, with each kid adding to the conversation as it went along.

Four-year-old Addie told us all about her imaginary friend. Caiden, who's just about to turn nine-years-old, shared how much he had enjoyed riding a horse, alone, for the very first time. Then almost six-year-old Grayson piped in, "Did you hear about the 'F' word?"

The conversation came to a standstill. Grayson's Papa very calmly said, "No. What happened?"

Grayson looked at both of us, with big, beautiful, blue eyes, and said with a very serious face, "I frowed up."

Mid-Week Laugh: Add Yogurt

A couple of years ago Landon and I decided to make these yummy frozen treats. He was new to the "little kitchen helper" role, so I walked him through the steps. He helped me get out the strawberries...measure the lemonade....set the ice aside in a cup...all without a glitch! So, when it was time to "go ahead and add the yogurt now, honey," I was surprised, and tickled, to see this: 

For some "literal fun," with sayings, phrases, and homophones, check out Amelia Bedelia books (anybody else have very fond memories of these books?). If your kids are old enough, they can draw some silly illustrations of their own...they might just knock your socks off!! Hee Hee. :)

Mid-Week Laugh: Doctor NOSE Best

Submitted by FunMom Gen at: http://www.girlsandsunflowers.blogspot.com/

"Awhile back, my middle child, CM, needed a slight chiropractic adjustment. So, off we went to the appointment. Thankfully, we are personal friends with our doctor, but it was too much when CM looked up from the exam table and said, 

'WOW! You should clean your nose! 

You gotta lotta boogas!!'

The doc laughed, CM laughed, and then, after cringing, I laughed right along with them!"

Mid-Week Laugh: Beware of the Underwear Bandits

It was his idea.

And, yes. They're clean. :)

Any funny underwear stories from your little ones?!?

Mid-Week Laugh: Falling in Love

Submitted by FunMom Melanie, from Pittsburgh

The other day I was taking a walk with my girls through our neighborhood. As I looked down at the two of them sitting in the stroller, I started thinking how fast they are growing up. Thinking outloud, I absently said, "You girls are growing up too quickly...The next thing you know you are going to fall in love and get married!” 

Avery, my three-year-old, perked up right away and confirmed my thoughts by saying, "I am going to fall in love when I get big, Mommy.” Wishing that I hadn't started this train of thought, I quickly prodded, “How do you think you fall in love, Avery?” In a sweet, but very sure, little voice she said, “First I am going to fall down. Then I'm gonna love somebody. That’s how you do it, Mommy!”

 I love the innocence of children! 

Got funny kids?
 Please share: emailfunmom@yahoo.com.

Made you Laugh: A Sticky Situation

True Story: Tuesday 6/1/10

Let me start this by saying that I'm not an overly germ-conscious person. I don't ask people to take their shoes off in my house, I only clean my bathrooms once a week, and I buy dry shampoo more than I buy the regular kind. Everyone has their limits though, and this afternoon, even my skin was crawling. Here's what happened...

Landon and I had a whole list of errands to run. We'd been to the library, the church, the post office, the ice cream store (there's got to be some reprieve!), and the tractor store. The last stop was a bit of a discount-for-good-reason clothing store where I was hoping to find some comfy, very affordable t-shirts that I could wear to do yardwork. Landon was being such a good boy! He pointed out a few interesting options for me, didn't say anything overly embarrassing when we encountered some very unique people, and sat patiently in the cart while I sifted through maimed, torn, and stained pieces of clothing. Finally, with a few possible options thrown over my arm, we headed to the dressing rooms. I hung my items on the hooks available and glanced at my watch. Realizing we should already be home for naptime, I hurriedly began trying on the slim-pickings that I had found. Yes to this one...Wow! Definitely NO to that one! Uhhh...not sure. I'll have to think about it...

See...I was in my I'm-running-late-mode (which, you may have realized by now, happens far too often) and so I didn't realize what my sweet, content, but WAY too quiet little boy was doing until he very happily said..."Mama! Look!! I found some stickers on the wall!" I struggled to quickly push my mop of yes, unwashed hair through a t-shirt that unfortunately was at least one size too small, to see horrifingly that Landon did indeed have two new stickers proudly displayed on his own t-shirt. I covered my mouth, shocked, as I got eye level to them. Worn and pilled already they said,

Swimsuit sanitation pad. Please remove before wearing.

Mid-Week Laugh

An Odd Bird

Conversation: Mid Morning, Tuesday

Landon: Mama, come quick!! There's a beautiful red bird! Do you see it?!?!

Mama: I do! That's a cardinal, honey. Aren't they pretty?

Landon: Yeah! Hey, Mama...did you know red is my favorite color?

Mama: I know! So, maybe a cardinal could be your favorite bird.

Landon: Hmmm. Yep. I think so. A carnivore is my favorite bird!

..........................................................

BTW: Memory Coasters coming tomorrow...

Mid-Week Laugh

So, Landon and I were driving around a few days ago singing that old Sunday School song,

Count your blessings,

Count them one by one.

Count your blessings,

see what God has done.

Afterwards, not wanting to miss a teachable moment, I turned the volume way down, anticipating a deep, thoughtful, God-honoring conversation with my little boy. Excited to hear his answer, I said, "Buddy, what kinds of blessings, or special things, has God given you?"

I admit that I expected to hear sweet, endearing things. A list that would maybe sound a little bit like, 'Mama (named first, of course), Daddy, Smokey, my yard, my friends, etc.' So, imagine my surprise when, with a completely straight face, and not a moment's hesitation, he said instead, very confidently, "Muscles."

Sheesh! It starts young!

More typical than you might think...

Who needs a shirt when you have:

Fireman boots

Knee pads

Batting glove

Police belt

Superhero cape

Eye mask

Magic wand

Knight helmet

**Next Week's Relish:

Flying Coffee Filter Butterflies

Picky-Eater-Party

Egg Carton Caterpillars

Surprise Yard Games: 1

True Story

Monday, May 3, 2010

Vet: "Hello, Pleasant Valley Animal Clinic."

Me: "Hi. I just wanted to call y'all to make sure that my dog is okay. He, umm...well, he just ate a cigar. "

Vet: "Excuse me?"

Me: "A cigar. He ate it."

Pause.

Vet: "Ooookay. What size cigar was it?"

Me: "I don't know how to answer that...maybe a regular one?"

Vet: "A huh. And...did he eat all of it?"

Me: "Well, I caught him in the act, so he didn't quite get to finish off the plastic wrapper."

Vet: "So, he ate plastic too?!"

Me: "Well....some, yes."

Vet: "I'm gonna need to ask the doctor about this one. I've never known a dog to eat a cigar."

Me: "That would be great. Thank you."

Vet: "Okay. First, let's just pull up his records. What's his name?"

Pause.

Vet: "M'am. Are you there?"

Me: "Yes. I'm sorry. I'm here."

Vet: "And what did you say his name is?"

Me: "I didn't. Yet. His name is....(insert eye roll here).....Smokey."

Vet: "Smokey?!"

Me: "Yes, M'am. I know..."

Vet (insert suddenly extremely alarmed inflection): "The cigar wasn't lit was it?!?!?"

* No animals were harmed in the making of this phone call. Seemingly, Smokey actually enjoyed his afternoon treat (which, of course, was NOT lit). He tried to wash it down with a kitchen sponge several hours later.