Manage: Screen Allowance

"L" with one of his Screen Allowance Coins

 Written by: Katrina from Callapidder Days

My tween has never been particularly enthralled by screens. Oh, don’t get me wrong — he watches some TV and plays a couple video games. But I’ve never had to convince him to step away from the screen. He’ll use a screen for a little while, but then head outside or pick up a book.

My four-year-old, on the other hand, would sit and stare at screens all day long if I let him. There are a few DVDs and TV shows he likes, but what he really loves to do is use the computer and play games on my iPod touch. It seems the requests are endless. “Mom, can I use the computer? Can I use your iPod? Can I watch a DVD?”

For a long time, I did my best to monitor and restrict his screen usage on my own. I’d glance at the clock and estimate how long he’d been staring at the computer. I’d announce “Screen Breaks.” I’d shoo him outside. And he would listen, but it was often a struggle. There was whining, there was begging, and there was scowling.

A few weeks ago, I decided to try something new: Screen Allowance. Here’s how it works.

Every day, I give my preschooler some coins (we have some large, plastic, gold “treasure” coins that work perfectly). Throughout the day, whenever he wants to use a screen — of any kind — he has to turn in a coin. When he does, I set the timer and he can use the screen of his choice until the timer beeps.

At that point, he can turn in another coin to continue playing, or he can (and often does) choose to do something else for a while.

Usually, the coins are worth 30 minutes each. However, I’ve been known to add a little extra time if he’s doing something I consider educational or creative, as opposed to staring blankly at a TV show.

When the coins for that day are gone, that’s it. No more screen time that day.

We definitely experienced an adjustment period. It took a while for my son to realize that when he used up all the coins, he was done with screens. No more coins magically appeared for his use.

But now that we’ve been using Screen Allowance for a few weeks, he’s getting the hang of it. When he sees that there is only one coin left, he thinks twice about using it right away, realizing that it might be best to save it for later.

Some advantages to the Screen Allowance approach:

• It puts more of the decision-making in the child’s hands. For the most part, he can decide when he wants to use the coins, and how quickly he wants to use them. He’s learning to evaluate his options and choose which activity he wants to do now and what he wants to save for later.

• It provides natural breaking points. When the beeper goes off, my son is often ready to switch to a different activity. Rather than having me announce a screen break and dealing with the ensuing drama, he listens for the beeper. When it goes off, it feels natural to do something else for a while — Legos, bike-riding, and reading are his usual picks.

• It teaches him the concept of budgeting. It didn’t take my son long to realize that if he used all his coins before lunch, he was really out of luck that evening when he wanted to play a game on my iPod. Now, if he’s used a couple coins in the morning, we talk about how it would be a good idea to save some for the afternoon or evening. More often than not, he quickly agrees.

• Mom’s not the bad guy! Instead of me putting an end to screen time, our handy kitchen timer does the dirty work for me. While we feel strongly that the parents are the authority in the home, and that kids need to obey, we also see the value in avoiding battles by implementing systems. Just like he starts getting ready for bed when the clock says 7:15, he puts aside screens when the beeper goes off.

• It’s flexible.You can modify the Screen Allowance system to work for you. Coins (or whatever “currency” you choose to use) can be worth whatever amount of time you deem appropriate, and you can distribute as many coins as you want, up to the limit that you, as a parent, have determined makes sense for your child.

We don’t use the system perfectly. Earlier this week, I was sick and while I spent the entire morning on the couch with my eyes closed, my son went over his screen allowance for the day. (As I’m sure you can imagine, he didn’t complain one bit about that!) But these things happen, and we just got back on track the next day.

I know “screen time” can become an even bigger issue as kids get older. By having a system in place now, we will be ready to modify it as needed to keep battles to a minimum and to help our son continue to make wise decisions about using the computer, TV, and video games as he grows.

Manage: Taming the Family Calendar and a GIVEAWAY

 Winner is Comment #7 (www.random.org): KELLI

Congratulations!

By: Bev

It wasn’t that long ago we had a houseful of kids, and a full calendar to match. Three kids, busy with all sorts of activities, was a challenge to keep track of.

I bought a large, refrigerator-style calendar, skipping the type that had a nice picture and instead going for one with large blocks. It was our only calendar, and I was the only one allowed to write on it.

Each family member was assigned a color. Dad was green (he brought home the paycheck), I was red (the heart of the home), daughter #1 was pink, daughter #2 was purple, and our son was blue. I bought highlighters in those colors, and put them in a magnet-style basket that was attached to the fridge, next to the calendar. Any activity – a sports practice, cheerleading practice, football game, orthodontist appointment, sleepover, birthday party, was written down on the calendar in non-smearing ink. Then I ran a streak that matched the family member whose appointment it was over it. 

A white marker board might work well if you can post it high enough that little fingers won't smear / erase it.  I could easily see, even from across the kitchen, if anyone needed to be anywhere at a specific time.

Simple, inexpensive – who doesn’t love that? - and it worked for over twenty years. 

It might tame your calendar too.

Wanna win a free set of Sharpie Highlighters to start taming your own calendar? Enter by leaving a comment below. Winner announced Saturday morning. 

Manage: A Leash for Lovey

It's bedtime. 

Do you know where your child's lovey is?

Anyone who has suffered from Missing Lovey Syndrome will wholeheartedly testify that it is a very serious condition. At it's onset, it generally causes great distress, much panic, and quite a bit of crying (this can be contagious...beware, Mom). These symptoms are usually followed by hours of searching, sleepless nights, and therefore, very often, unsightly dark under-eye circles. Never fear though! There is a "vaccine" to prevent this awful ailment....a Lovey Leash!! The one pictured above was actually intended for child/mom use (I believe from Babies-R-Us); we just trimmed it to make it suitable for lovey/lover purposes. 

Make: Thank You Notes

Thank you notes. Three little words that can make even the most grateful groan. I seem to remember deeply dreading the 200 or so that loomed over me while on my honeymoon. Even more telling, I recall explaining to my mom very matter-of-factly that, "Emily Post says you don't have to send one if you thank the person face-to-face," right before my largest baby shower. Yikes! I ended up writing a thank you card to each person anyway...just in case someone hadn't read that particular page of Post's renowned book on proper etiquette. 

Last year, after Landon's third birthday, I decided to change the game plan, at least temporarily, for my kiddo. Instead of writing, why not make? (This revelation was very convenient, considering the fact that my preschooler couldn't write, and the duty would have fallen on a certain somebody else.) In seriousness though, while I'm teaching him how to show appreciation, it seemed logical for him to actually have a grateful heart, while thanking others for the gifts they had given him. It made sense to me. So, we packed a bucket full of some of his most interesting arts and crafts supplies, grabbed a large picnic blanket, and found a shady spot in our yard to begin creating.  I explained to him that he was going to get to make a beautiful picture to thank each of the sweet people who had given him his fun, new toys that he already loved so much. He was actually excited to get started! While he created we talked about specific people that had attended the party...what they had given them...what part of the "thank you note" they would like the best...why the ants seemed to really like his scented markers... Well, we tried to stay on topic. :)

During naptime that afternoon I took a picture of Landon's creation, and uploaded it to http://www.snapfish.com/. I choose the "postcard" option, typed a sweet, general thank you message in Landon's "voice," added our return address, and clicked purchase. Four days later, I added address labels and a stamp to each one. They were affordable, relatively handmade, personal, but practical, extremely original, very well received, and (add drumroll here)...FUN to make!  

Landon turned four on Saturday. 

Guess what we're doing for Special Time tomorrow? 

Hope it's good weather...we've got a date with a picnic blanket and scented markers! :)

Birthday Blessings

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation;

the old has gone, the new has come!"

2 Corinthians 5:17

 I wholeheartedly cling to this verse, and it's true meaning, with celebration and appreciation. I believe it to be a wonderful promise from God of our changed position before Him, after accepting His son as our Savior. I genuinely pray that you and your family understand it, or come to understand it, in the same way. On a more trivial level, however, this verse also comes to my mind before any major gift-giving holiday. 

My little boy's birthday is tomorrow. The new is coming...the old must go. His 'games shelf' is already full. His lego bin is overflowing. He has cars, costumes, and craft supplies he's barely used. He's gotten too old for Baby Einstein, and too big for his Tricycle. Many of his stuffed animals are suffering from love deprivation, and several of his footballs are longing for someone, anyone other than a three-year-old, to throw them. (Sidenote: My three-year-old throws a football the same way he throws a baseball. It doesn't work so well.) The bottom line is that we have some "old" to pass on. Not to pitch, but to pass on.

In one of my all-time favorite books, "The Ministry of Motherhood," Sally Clarkson shares that mothers should teach their children to serve others. My ultimate goal as a mom, in everything that I do, is to help my little boy know and understand the person of Jesus. He was a giver. His focus was always on others. Matthew 20:28 tells us that, "...the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." I think this was probably the case even on His birthday. Now to teach this to my child...

Moms are known for multitasking. Two birds. One stone. So, boiled down, here's how it works in our house: Before new toys are received, my kiddo is asked to pick a few items to pass along to another child (give). Together we reassemble, clean, and sanitize those toys, doing our best to make them shine and sparkle again, while I remind him of the reasons behind this small service. Then, right before his little arms are showered with "new," I help him to carry "the old" to our local donation drop-off. 

The old has gone, the new will come...and a heart is being shaped.  

DONATE NEAR YOU:

Goodwill: http://locator.goodwill.org/

Toys for Tots: http://www.toysfortots.org/donate/toys.asp

Salvation Army: http://www.satruck.org/search

 

Manage: Library Bin

I hate to lose things...especially when it costs me money!

Here's why I like this system for keeping track of library books:

* This particular bin is easy to find (Walmart). It's also very affordable (about $4.50 each). 

* My little boy can easily see and access all of his new books. This was my greatest frustration with previously using a library bag, satchel, or backpack.  

* The bin stores easily (it's designed to fit on a bookshelf), and is convenient for carrying around the house or library. 

* Best of all...The window in the bin allows me to keep track of what we've checked out and when they're due back. I use index cards cut to 2"x3". I also keep extra cards behind the one I'm using. Works great for us! 

Would this work for you? Do you have a different system? Please share!

Manage: Accountability Scheduling

When Landon was a baby, his schedule was somewhat sacred. We stuck to it to the point that friends probably whispered behind our backs...and though it worked well for us at the time, looking back, I can't say that I blame them. As he's gotten older though, and as we've all settled into "summer mode," our day-to-day happenings have become a bit too flexible. I decided that a happy medium would do us all some good, especially with fall and preschool approaching, but knew that I needed an accountability partner to keep me on track (I've mentioned before that I tend to have time-management issues...). After looking high and low, I realized that a certain little man (who, at the moment was dressed in pirate gear and playing with legos), was probably my best, and let's face it, only bet for the role. I looked him up and down for a moment or two, wondering how to make this partnership work. I pondered deeply what might entice a three-year-old towards responsibility, and came up with this....his own giant "watch," as he calls it, something that he an manipulate, bright colors, and pictures of himself. Add in a huge heap of "you're-such-a-big-boy-to-help-your-Mama-know-what-to-do-next-today," and we sealed the deal.
So, my current accountability partner is a preschooler.
And, even crazier...it's working!!

Our (Semi-Flexible) Schedule:

9:00ish- Breakfast, Morning Show

10:00ish- Chores

10:30ish- Play

12:30ish- Lunch

1:30ish- Quiet Time

2:30ish- Nap

4:00ish- Special Time with Mama :)

5:00ish- Daddy's home!

6:00ish- Dinner Time

7:30ish- Bath Time

8:30ish- Bedtime

How to Make the Clock:

*Supplies highlighted*

1. I used a paper plate to trace a circle onto a cheap, thin, flexible cutting board.

2. I used colored Sharpie Markers to draw numbers on the clock.

3. I added tiny pictures of the things Landon does at different points in the day (I just cut, pasted, and printed these off in a Word Document).

4. I used a tiny piece of extra cutting board material to make the spinner (see above), and colored it in with a black Sharpie. I then poked a hole in the spinner and the center of the clock, and attached it with a standard brad. 

5. To keep the pictures in good shape, I covered the whole surface with a couple layers of Modge Podge (you could also just paint it with Elmers glue). 

Question for you...Do you stick to a schedule or routine? 

If so, how do you do it?

Manage: Raincoat in a Pinch

Yep. It's a trash bag (turned upside with three small holes cut into it).  Great for those summer thunderstorms that you didn't see coming. They happen a lot here in Pennsylvania!

Do you have any easy-peasy practical tips? 

Please share!

Tuesday Tip: Cleaning Crocs

Summer finds every family member in our house pulling out their Crocs. We love 'em! They go on fast, they're durable, they match most anything we wear in warm weather, and they're comfy. The ONLY problem that I have found with these beloved kicks is the dirty, smelly, even dare I say slimy, film that they harbor, and then transfer onto feet (especially little ones). Does anyone else have this problem...or are we just particularly dirty?!?!?

Anyway...my Tuesday Tip: The Dishwasher! Line those crocs up on the top shelf. They'll come out good as new, guaranteed. And ready for more fun in the sun!

Unfortunately, those piggy little feet still have to be handwashed.

Why should I be a FunMom?

The Value of Playing With Your Child

by Teresa, The CuteKid™ Staff (www.thecutekid.com)

Playtime is valuable time. Children learn through play. During play children often imitate valuable adult behaviors, stretch their imagination and reinforce creativity, and feel like they have accomplished something. When you play with your child you add to these benefits by making your feel child important and valued...

Playtime is a time for parents to relax and unwind. It distresses their life and helps them focus on what is truly important, their child. Play helps parents better understand their children's desires, abilities, and developmental stage...When your child is a little older you will find that a great time to talk is when you are involved in an activity. I love the commercial featuring a father talking to his son about drugs while playing basketball. Because you are involved in an activity that the child enjoys the conversation is low-key. Your child is more likely to listen to you and you are more likely to really listen to your child.

Schedule some time to play with your child everyday. If you don't plan playtime into your day it is easy to let the day slip away without ever really playing with your child. Consider playtime an investment in your child's future. It is during playtime that you build a bond with your child. Express to them their importance to you. And as your child grows they will continue to want to spend time with you.

When am I going to find time for FUN?

"The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities."

-Stephen Covey

Having FUN with my child is a high priority to me. Therefore, I have to make it happen. But, my days are full. I work. I clean. I cook. I organize. I schedule. I volunteer. I plan. I study. I relate. I learn. And...so do you. Moms are busy. But, I want my little guy to know that he matters more to me than having a well-organized closet, or having a well-known name in the community. He's pretty close to the top of my priority list (only behind God and my husband), and my actions should show it. So, here's what I set out to accomplish each week:

3+ "Special Time" Activities.

20+ minutes each.

This isn't to say that we don't do something fun every day. In his mind, we definitely do. We have lots of simple, spontaneous, silly fun. But, I've set a goal to think of at least three make-his-day kind of things that we can do together. We both win when I'm intentional about planning FUN things for us to share.

He and I both agree...It's a good feeling to have one's priorities in order.

Where is all the FUN stuff gonna go?!?

No need to have a craft room....

A craft closet might work in your house.

Or, maybe you have just a little bit of space available inside a closet.

Or, you might have a dresser that isn't serving much use right now. Bring it to life with chalkboard paint (available at Home Depot/Lowe's), and fill it with FUN!

A toolbox, with it's many compartments, can be a traveling craft container. Very handy!

Or, a bunch of easily organized, kid-friendly bins ($59.99 at Target) could work well.

So, where is all the FUN stuff gonna go in your house?

Share your thoughts in the FunMom guestbook!

And, by request...

What does a FunMom do?

1. Have a Plan!

"If you fail to plan, you plan to fail."

This saying has always resonated with me. I know, from WAY too much experience, that without a plan, my day is very likely to become a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants-free-for-all. Not pretty....for me, my house, my husband, or my child. A plan is my best line of defense. Things are just more likely to happen when they've been put in writing. There is power in a plan! The following FunMom Weekly Planner ($5.99) can be found under the "FunMom Store" tab. This 50-sheet notepad was designed to help FUN go from being good-intentioned to good-as-done!

2. Name it!

In our house, we call it "Special Time". If you name it, your kids will claim it! My three-year-old asks me every day what we're going to be doing for Special Time. Talk about an accountability partner! I don't get to slide very often. It doesn't necessarily have to be anything spectacular though; he just loves knowing that I've planned something special for us to do together. By naming it though, simple, sweet pleasures-such as baking cookies, riding bikes, flying a kite, and making pinwheels- are highlighted as special and sacred because we share those moments. I'd love to know what you've named your FunMom Moments. Please post them in the FunMom Guestbook in the sidebar.

Make: Rainbow Fish and Sharing

Sharing. If that word suddenly induced a somewhat sick feeling in your stomach, you're not alone. Teaching our children to share is not a fun lesson...for mom or child! The Rainbow Fish, by Marcus Phister is a great way to introduce (or reiterate, for the 435th time) the value of this virtue. After reading the book, and working through some of the content with your kiddo, you can lighten things up with this fun craft...

Step 1. Draw something resembling the shapes above on the back of a paper plate.

Step 2. Cut out the shapes that you drew, and lay them out around another paper plate to make sure that all fins are going the right way, and are the desired size. Notice that the tail is actually face up (which is why I put a star on it in the Step 1 picture).

Step 3: Designate the left side of the plate as the face, and let your little one color that area blue...my buddy got a little carried away when I wasn't looking! :)

Step 4: Cut out small pieces of tissue paper and aluminum foil.

Step 5: When working with glue, I like to use a paintbrush to spread the stickiness. This keeps tiny fingers nice and clean, and makes a more even workspace. Apply paper and foil pieces to all areas of the fish, except the head and lips.

Step 6: Staple the pieces together, add an eye (we used a googley one), and trace the lips and head with a black marker.

Step 7. TA DA! Your kid will now willingly share with a smile! Okay, maybe not. BUT, at least you now have a visual reminder to hang in her room, of why she might want to!! :)

The Picky-Eater-Dipping-Party

I'm blessed. My little boy will eat, don't hate me for this, just about anything that I put in front of him. I give credit to a pediatrician who encouraged me to basically skip the baby-food-stage, and instead just begin giving Landon small bites of whatever I had fixed for dinner. Maybe he would have been a great eater either way.

Who knows.

What I do know, however, is that very few of my friends have been so lucky when it comes to feeding their children. If you count yourself among those that dread the dining hours of the day, this may work for you. To be honest, I usually just resort to a "dipping party" meal, such as the one pictured above, simply because I am perpetually late, and it saves me 2.83 seconds if I don't have to actually put the peanut butter (or jelly) onto a piece of bread. It may be a bit pathetic, but my little boy certainly isn't complaining. In fact, he loves dipping party lunches. His favorite combo is what we coined the "muddy bear" (Cinnamon Teddy Graham dipped in peanut butter and raisins).

Here's to happier meals...feel free to insert your own, resounding, "Amen!"

Preschool Chores

Fun pictures

Colorful clothespins

Allowance ($1/week)

+____________

A very willing little helper!!

Hope this works for you too! :)

Discipline Decisions and Relieving Revelations

Entry from my Journal: 9/2/09

"Lord, I want to genuinely enjoy my little boy! And, I want for him to enjoy every day that we spend together...because they are a gift, and they just go by way too fast to spend them any other way!

Discipline is necessary. And biblical. But, I am determined that it not become my life. Because, if it does, not only am I living a very sad day-t0-day existence, but so is my little man!

So, I will balance my discipline, of course with love, but also with silliness and fun, spontaneity and laughter. Rather than correcting for 100 different things in a day, I will remind my sweet little boy, 100 times if necessary, of our 3 simple rules. Then, I will discipline him fairly, consistently, and quickly when they are not followed. So much easier...for he and I both!

Help me train him up in the way he should go, Father. He is yours, and I know that you have amazing plans for him."

Report: Almost 6 months later, this is still working so well for us! Landon's rule sheet hangs on our fridge, and we often hear him singing the little song that I wrote to help him remember what is expected of him. Conclusion: At three-years-old, three broad can-apply-to-almost-anything-he-tries-to-pull rules seem to work well!